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My hormones are running wild because of my period.  And because of some illegal activity I engaged in last night.  I feel stupid for joining in… but it’s been a long time.  And I actually like doing the thing.  I guess my body just got shocked.  So now, I’m feeling pretty low.  Well, I’ve been feeling a lot lower last night… what with my unceasing crying and spiraling bad thoughts… and some boyfriend drama and wishful thinking.

I just need something to pick me up.  And since I can’t do all the things that make me feel grand, the next best thing is to imagine myself doing them and still feel grand.

Loving Me

1. Take a long, soothing, cold bath. Some people like hot baths.  I like cold baths.  No…. Actually, I love cold baths.  It’s so hot here in the Philippines that I just can’t stand hot baths.  Plus, they make my beloved hair brittle and prone to breakage.  Taking a good bath is my number one defense against bad days.  Even when I’m lazy when it comes to bathing.  Nothing beats a good cool bath to combat sadness.

2. Listen to my favorite bands. New Found Glory.  Motion City Soundtrack.  Dashboard Confessional.  Well, those so far since I haven’t completely rebuilt my music collection since the hard drive disaster.  Music always makes me feel better.

3. Sing out loud.  And proud. I know I have a good voice.  It’s not the best voice in the world but I’m proud of it.  When I feel low, I just put on my favorite songs and sing along.  My computer has this HD Realtek thing that can alter the audio output and make it into a karaoke song.  I had fun with it one afternoon when I was home alone.  I played Motion City Soundtrack songs and just sang and sand until I felt really better about myself.

4. Cook. Not that I’m a great cook.  But I feel happy at the thought that I’ve accomplished something.  There was this one night when I felt really bad and I was all alone, left to my hateful thoughts.  I decided to search for a garlic sauce recipe and actually make it.  So I searched and cooked and was satisfied.  I also made french fries to go with the sauce.  Yum!  The sauce actually turned out great.  Too much oregano, but great.  And my self-esteem also felt great after.

5. Wear my one and only heels. I love them.  And they make my lovely legs look even lovelier.

6. Blog.  Or blog hop. Nothing beats expressing my thoughts.  Except maybe reading other people’s thoughts.  I’ve actually fallen in love with this blog because it’s the most truthful blog I’ve ever kept.  Even if it’s only been several months.

7. Wear my battered Chuck Taylors. I’ve had them for three years now and they’re battered and “holey.”  But I love them.  They make me feel strong and fearless and totally me.  I’ve worn them with/to pretty much everything and everywhere.  These days, I refrain from wearing them during rainy days because of the many many holes on their sides.

8. Wear my favorite black bra. Good support.  Sexy.  Black.  I look hot.  I feel hot.

9. Get and/or give hugs. People should hug more.  That’s all I can say.

10. Watch anime. I forget my problems and go into this other world filled with so many colorful, weird, morbid, romantic and funny things.  An escapist move on my part but it works.  Sometimes I just need to get away.

11. Watching romantic comedies or just plain comedies. Laughter is indeed the best medicine.  Even if everything seems so hopeless, I know I’ll be fine if I can still laugh and smile.  Oh, and let’s not forget love…. All we need is love.  Love makes the world go round.  I believe that love (for myself, for others, for animals, for the world) will always make things better.

I guess that’s it for now.  I don’t really need expensive things or extravagant acts to make myself feel loved and happy.  I guess all I need are reminders of the things that make me “me.”

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  1. getting my period
  2. shaking hands with Henry Allen
  3. watching Faspitch play
  4. 64 MB Cafe (Handuraw) Soft Ice Cream
  5. learning how to play Dashboard Confessional’s So Impossible on the guitar
  6. my new black, spidey skirt
  7. end of midterms
  8. going home at 2:30
  9. a visit from a friend
  10. finding a really cute cellphone charm
  11. stuff my boyfriend said
  12. Crumpy hazelnut spread
  13. batchoy

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I Found More Books!

I was looking through our unused room in the house and I found more books that I’d like to read.

  • Shogun by James Clavelle (reread)
  • Noble House by James Clavelle
  • Running Without Fear
  • The Eye of the Needle by Thomas Walsh July 27, 2008
  • Prose and Poetry of Nick Joaquin, a local writer

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I’m Not Really That Lazy

Crafts I Want To Learn/Improve On:

  1. Stenciling (Learn)
  2. Embroidery (Learn)
  3. Quilting (Learn)
  4. Soap Making (Learn)
  5. Lotion Making (Learn)
  6. Perfume Making (Learn)
  7. Shoe Reconstruction (Learn)
  8. Beading(Improve)
  9. Cross Stitching (Improve)
  10. Jewelry Making (Improve)
  11. Clothing Reconstruction (Learn)

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I know that I’m having a depressive episode when:

  1. I don’t want to write.
  2. When I do want to write, I just want to write lists.
  3. I overthink.
  4. I cry for no reason.
  5. I cry over toothpaste and misplaced floss.
  6. I become an impulsive shopper.
  7. I don’t want to use public transportation.
  8. I hate being touched by strangers and weird classmates.
  9. I just want to shriek in delight over small things.
  10. I want to eat lotsa meat.
  11. My boyfriend’s ranting makes me sleepy.
  12. I can’t multi-task.
  13. I’m irritable.
  14. I feel like crying over noise.
  15. I get all lovey-dovey with my boyfriend.
  16. I feel the pressure of trying to earn money.
  17. I get all panicky.
  18. I get obsessed with schedules.
  19. I just want to get out of the house.
  20. I become very introspective.

Animes to Watch/Rewatch:

  1. Vampire Knight
  2. Yu Yu Hakusho
  3. Full Metal Alchemist
  4. Ninku
  5. Boys Be
  6. Ojii
  7. Monster Rancher
  8. Pokemon
  9. Ah! My Goddess
  10. Mermaid Melodies
  11. Gatekeeper Season 1 & 2
  12. Flame of Recca
  13. Vision of Escaflowne

Series to Watch/Rewatch:

  1. One Tree Hill
  2. Gossip Girl Ep. 14-18
  3. The Office
  4. Arrested Development
  5. Dirty Sexy Money
  6. Scrubs
  7. Grey’s Anatomy Season 3 & above
  8. Ghost Whisperer
  9. CSI
  10. Criminal Minds
  11. Justice

Food to Trip On:

  1. Spare Ribs
  2. Chimichanga
  3. Mooon Cafe’s food
  4. cupcakes
  5. pizza

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